White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
false alarm. still invincible.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How does one acquire holy water?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
