I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
