there's paper in my vomit.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
