i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm like, not good at living.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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