he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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