We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
