so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
