I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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