Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
