he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
