I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
do nipples grow back?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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