I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
