Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize