A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
