Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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