While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
