HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize