I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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