try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize