In the future we'll all be gay
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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