That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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