Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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