glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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