Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
