Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
