We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
