white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
