is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
either way he was missing a nipple.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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