My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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