seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
