Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
