I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
