i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
