oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
