Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
bring money and cleavage
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
