do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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