Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize