what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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