Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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