Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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