i think my tv is drunk
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just want to make out with him forever
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
