I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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