Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
