I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
