she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
