I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
