Can Purell be used as lube?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
