that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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