he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
