his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
