There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
