yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
