The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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