This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize